Amends To My Muse

Amends To My Muse

Oh, Muse
Forgive my prolonged evasion
We were companions once
You and I
Invariably sharing
Observations
Elucidations
And, when I freely pondered
You answered, eloquently
This, our repartee
You, and me

And then
I began to avoid our encounters
Keeping only breviloquent discourse
Then, subtle nods in your direction
Until, finally, nothing at all
Our concord only a distant memory

It was not by design, you see
But for the sake of brevity
My attention split into fragments
Of paternity and every responsibility
An exhausting helotry
Impalpable perspiration 
Dampening the wick
That once lit my imagination
And so
I resigned myself
To that
Barren
Paralyzing 
Mindscape

And yet
Have I not seen you?
There, in the periphery?
Patiently waiting for me
To fortuitously notice
To restore our harmony
And welcome you back
With familiar embrace?

Yes, I've heard 
Your voice in the morning birdsong
In the words of my son, reciting stories
And the patter of raindrops on fresh leaves of green

I have seen you
Dancing with my daughter's loose tooth
Unfurling the blossoms, awash in color
And in the soft shine of silver moonlight

I've felt your presence
On the soft, light-speckled footpaths in the forest
In the panorama of hallowed Civil War battlefields
And in the warm breath of my sleeping children

There you have dwelled
In my simple joys
There you have dwelled
In the fissures of my hardships
Bursting out of my mind
And into the din...
The declarations of the sufferers
The bluster of political hysteria
The trumped up election
The Black Lives
Toppled bronze statues
And bleeding schools

In connubial bickering
Preschooler stand-offs
Restless nights
Tight clothes
Gray whiskers
And backaches
Delirium
Doubts
The earnest things
The petty things
You were there
In the distractions
But more so, in between them...

There, you have dwelled
In the quiet places
Between truth and belief
Amid the atoms
And the ticks of second hands
Ready to materialize
From space and time
If only I beckoned

Oh, Muse
I call to you now
Hoping you attend to me
For who will tell my story?
Who will be my confidant?
Celebrate my victories?
Bemoan my travails?
And study the times?
Who will illuminate
Fading memories?
My friend...
You are my voice
My vision
Please, come and
Dwell within
So that we may speak 
Once again

JMC
5/22/18
(c) 2018

Melodies Pure & True

It was about two months ago, a few weeks before our son would be born, when my wife and I were driving in the car with our daughter who was 19 months old at the time. During that short ride she did something that caused us to be both amazed and overjoyed, and ever since then this miraculous moment has now become an everyday occurrence (almost an “all-day” occurrence). Though it all started on that day when we first witnessed a simple miracle of word, sound, and power.

It starts and ends with music. Music is a big part of our lives and so we find occasion to play it almost anywhere and anytime, especially on our car rides. On that particular day we were playing an album that I had frequently put on while putting my daughter to bed. As we were listening, we suddenly heard another texture to the music, something like another voice adding to the mix. My wife and I looked back, and to our great surprise, saw our daughter singing and harmonizing with this one beautiful melody. Mind you, this was no simple nursery rhyme either. It was a rich piece of music with many elements, layers, and vocal harmonies. Yet, here was our daughter singing the words with perfect annunciation, perfect tone and in perfect time! She had been using a variety of words and speaking her own brand of melodic gibberish for some time, but this was very different… she was actually singing!

What made this moment even more special was the fact that this was such a wonderful tune to hear our daughter sing. It was a song about love. Love for a child, love of family, love for the Most High God, and one filled with gratitude.  While we listened, a verse came forth from her lips in perfect clarity. “Oh how I love you, oh yes I love you! My precious baby, you mean so much to me!” She sang loudly with a smile of satisfaction. Then as the album continued, other songs and phrases emerged like, “I love you baby, so overwhelmed by your beauty… It’s an honor to feed to you, a privilege to take care of you, a joy to hold you, and a blessing to have you… Each and every day, I do find time to pray, thanking God the Father for you my precious daughter!...”

The songs came from an album sung by Marge Blackman along with her family members and friends. She comes from a family of musicians from Trinidad & Tobago who sing in a style called Jamoo, or JAH Music. If you’ve never heard of it before then it is because it belongs to a unique niche in world music and I am fortunate enough to have a little collection of these hard-to-find albums.  Jamoo could be described as a rootsy blend of calypso, soca, reggae and Caribbean folk with spiritual and uplifting messages. We used to play this album frequently even before our daughter was born. In fact, it is actually titled “Songs for the Womb and Beyond” and I owned it long before I was a married man, or had even thought of becoming a Dad, just because I loved the music and the style. 

Playing the album on that day opened up a musical floodgate. Songs spill from our daughter’s mouth almost as quickly as she hears them with her ears. It is simply amazing to learn how intently she’s been listening to the music and what she is picking up from it. She is grasping language so quickly and putting words together with ideas and abstract thoughts. Although she doesn't know exactly what a song may be saying, she hangs on important words and their associations, repeating phrases and feeling the general vibes of the whole tune, dancing and soaking it all in. Witnessing this has proven two things to me. First, that one cannot underestimate the abilities and the awareness of a young child, and second, one cannot underestimate the power that music has on people, even very young people. It makes me wonder what would happen if I was playing music with less substance, or lyrics with foul and crude language. What type of impact would it have on my little daughter, and now my newborn son? How could I not be ashamed if they repeated demeaning and dirty lyrics, or mimicked some inappropriate pantomime? Unfortunately, I’m not sure if every parent thinks this through until it happens. 

Toward the beginning of this month of February my family (along with many millions more in the world, I'm sure) celebrated what would have been the 70th Birthday of Bob Marley, the man who carried positive and life-giving music all across the world. Every time I reflect on that car ride, and the days since, a verse from one of Bob’s most famous songs comes to mind. “…Three little birds upon my doorstep, singin’ sweet songs of melodies pure and true, sayin’ this is my message to you-ou-ou…” I love that line. Melodies pure and true… yes, that is what sustains me. Everyone has their own taste in music and whatever else that grabs them and brings them to life. However in my own universe, and in the world I’ve created for my family, we surround ourselves with music that builds us up and fills us up with love and strength, with purpose and confidence. Music created from positive vibrations. Roots reggae, or sounds of polyrhythms and languages from all over the African continent, Jamoo, soul, and world music that give thanks and praise or speaks truth no matter what nation it originates from. This is the music of our lives and the beat that we march to. I feel so satisfied and happy to see the impact it already has on our young daughter, singing these sweet songs. And I give thanks for the melodies pure and true, because music is life. In the words of Mr. Robert Nesta Marley, play I some music!...

JAHsh

And Yeshua said unto them, “Yea, have ye never read, ‘Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings Thou hast perfected praise’?” - Matthew 21:16

I Dare Not Be Ungrateful

It has been some lean times. As a nation, most of us are in the same boat economically: unemployment, underemployment, rising costs of living, etc. It is no great wonder then, that the stress of uncertainty sometimes weighs on me and my own family. Being the parents of an 18 month-old daughter while expecting our second baby in January, we know that our livelihood is about more than just being comfortable, but about providing a happy and safe home for our children. Lately it seems harder to manage and stay afloat. Our income is actually less than it was when we were first married due to circumstances and of course a pregnancy that limits job opportunities. At times we worry about paying bills on time, accumulating debt, fixing things in our home, and saving for emergencies and for our future. We know that we just can’t afford certain things, especially during the holiday season, when people are bombarded with advertisements to buy everything and anything. It can be quite taxing on the soul, and the body. It can cause a disturbance in the home and restlessness in our sleep. At least, that is one way to think. 

Notwithstanding all of the very real worries that we have, as a family we have so much to be thankful for! First, we have each other. My wife and I vowed to walk side-by-side though the hills and valleys on life’s road. It is comforting to have this companionship. Some families have a hard time enduring the stress and people often forget their commitment to one another. We have our health, and our unborn child is growing just fine! Many people struggle with chronic illnesses, or have children with developmental problems, and they do not have the means to treat them. We even have great health benefits and insurance due to my job. We have a roof over our heads! In fact, we own it, so we have home equity! We have food on our table! Even when we can’t necessarily afford to buy it ourselves, we have family that helps provide for us! There are hundreds of families in my community who have to depend on food shelters or churches just to have meals for the week. We have employment! Even though one of us is underemployed, we still are earning an income that more or less sustains us. We live in a safe community, where there is no crime and where we don’t have to worry (within reason) about robbery or gunfire! We have luxuries! We have running water, electricity, (which most people would say are necessities), we have cable television, we have possessions!

For all of these things, I give thanks. When I compare all of the blessings that we have to the worries and problems that we carry, it is almost embarrassing. My Uncle’s family lost their entire home in a fire last year. I have a close bredren (Rastafari brother and friend) who has been struggling with unemployment for several years now. I have family members and friends who are battling disease and health conditions. I have friends who live in neighborhoods and in cities where there is severe distress and where crime affects their livelihoods. I have students who are homeless, who are struggling with drug abuse and absence in their families. Even if I had all of these burdens, which would be hard to imagine, I have the air to breathe, water to drink... I have life! During these “tough times” (it seems funny to say now), I remember to wake up in the morning and give thanks to JAH for not being the worst. I give thanks for all of the little things that we have. When I lay my daughter down to sleep, I pray with her and give thanks even though she does not yet understand (although she does say “Amen”), because it is important that we acknowledge our blessings and good fortune. I dare not be ungrateful to JAH, Yahweh, Jehovah, Rastafari... because that would be an affront to all of the blessings that my family has received from HIM. 

Thanksgiving... yes, I know as a student of history that the first Thanksgiving is not necessarily the glorious moment that we celebrate in American mythos. I will not get into the socio-historical controversy here, because that is not my current message. I will however celebrate this day by truly giving thanks on a personal level. I will celebrate it as a day where I can join my family and extended family, break bread, and honor the Most High with a joyful heart! I truly believe that every day should be “Thanksgiving” (sans the overeating), but I am thankful for the tradition that puts a pause in our busy lives and a reality check to our woes and instead reminds us that life is precious, life is good, and we need to celebrate it! I give thanks to JAH Rastafari, to Iyesos Kristos, to Selassie I, for all of the elders and ancestors who guided the human spirit. I give thanks for all that I have and I dare not be ungrateful! Selah!

Give Thanks,
JAHsh

Post-Racial Rhapsody

I have a story for you, one that you may be familiar with. Most Americans had high praise for the 2009 feel-good movie “The Blind Side” based on the true story of an African-American football player named Michael Oher. In case you haven’t seen it, Oher, aka “Big Mike” starts off as a homeless and distressed teenage boy who is a product of the housing projects, broken family, and then foster homes that he has emerged from.  He is a large young man, hence “Big Mike”, but also a quiet person despite all the trauma of his youth. Eventually, he is discovered for being favorably-sized by a private school’s football team and because of his circumstances Michael is adopted by Sandra Bullock’s character (Leigh Anne Tuohy) and her family. The rest is a great story about overcoming the odds and being included on a team and in a family that would otherwise be alien to him. It is also true as far as I know, since Michael Oher is a real person who is now an NFL offensive left tackle and he has told his own story in an autobiography. Who can show contempt for this true story of showing love and compassion to a kid that many would have just forsaken? Fortunately it all worked out for “Big Mike” and he came across some really cool people that became his adoptive family. Yet, the movie at least, avoided some of the real ugliness that can come from confronting prejudices and blatant racism in society. Perhaps it’s just because it was a PG-13 movie, or perhaps the real ugly possibilities were avoided.

Now, let’s take this story and play with it a bit. What if it didn’t take place in Memphis, Tennessee, but instead, Ferguson Missouri? What if the physically imposing black teenager was not Michael Oher, but instead, Michael Brown? What if “Big Mike” Oher, or Brown, or whatever, was not a gentle giant, but an angry youth with a bad attitude and a propensity for petty theft (like many teenagers)? What if instead of wandering the streets and being found by Sandra Bullock, Michael instead is confronted by a police officer? What if “Big Mike” had a bad day and that bad day turned into bad fortune when an officer probably acting more out of fear than civic responsibility, shot him multiple times? How does that sound for a feel-good movie of the year? Not too good I imagine. The kind rather, that makes you feel rather uncomfortable and disgusted. It’s not the sugary stereotypical, “white savior meets magical negro” one that more people in mainstream America would like to watch. (In saying this, I mean no disrespect toward Mr. Oher or the Tuohy family.) Why do I bring up this alternative story? Because this story is not only in the headlines every minute of the day, but it is also rooted in the unfortunate reality for many black teenagers in America. 

Of course, people have so many things to say about this issue and the Michael Brown case in particular. It is sure to inspire some very confrontational Thanksgiving dinners. In fact, the topic probably cannot be avoided unless it is immediately classified as “too hot for TG” (TG, Thanksgiving… yes, I made it up). One only needs to read statuses on social media or read comments following online news articles to be immersed in a tide of controversy. Some of these comments fall along the lines of “he deserved it”, “he acted like a thug, troublemaker, punk”, “don’t talk back to, or confront cops”, “he was a thief”, and now lately I’ve seen speculations that his parents are affiliated with the Bloods gang. Even if all of the above was true, even if Michael Brown does not deserve the impromptu canonization that he has seemed to receive by many people in the Ferguson community, does that make the police response any less impetuous and the outcome any less tragic? In the end, an unarmed, surly, but probably scared, young black man was gunned down by law enforcement. The particulars right now are unknown, there is much speculation, and other people are more qualified to ask questions and find answers. However, the excuses that are being made for why an officer could shoot this young black teenager are ignorant in the least, and then insensitive and even hateful at their worst. 

I have another story, very brief… it is my own. There was a period of time when I was an acrimonious adolescent male. I was sullen and petulant. Sometimes the slightest thing would put me in a rage. I even had a temper so horrible that my grandmother had warned me with a sincere concern that this behavior could lead me to a path ending in jail. Yes, these are the years before my Rastafari trod! I was self-destructive and I engaged in criminal activities that if I had been caught, I may still be locked in a prison cell. I even had encounters with law enforcement. The difference is that I did not come from a broken family, in fact my family cared for me very much. The difference is that I had education and I did not come from a disenfranchised community. The difference is that if I did things to adjust my behavior or appearance, I could avoid having a target on my back. The difference is… I am white. With a roll of fate’s dice, a change of skin color and circumstances, I too could have been Michael Brown, or Trayvon Martin, or Eric Garner, and it goes on and on. I know all too well the benefit of white privilege in certain situations that I may have shared with these men, or that I did indeed share with friends and acquaintances of mine in my younger days. Whether I liked it or not, that’s how it was. Whether we like it or not, acts of prejudice and even discrimination are practiced by officers of the law, because they are human, and we are often bias creatures. 

There are a few things I just want to set straight before continuing. I know that without police protecting citizens there would be anarchy and chaos in our towns and cities. I know that there are some excellent officers who do all the right things for the right reasons and risk their lives with simple acts of heroism every day.  I applaud these men and women, I thank them, and we should be careful not to paint all police officers or the institution with a broad brush. However, not every person who puts on a uniform, wears a badge, and carries a gun is a fair and tolerant person. There are good cops and there are bad cops. Looking beyond the person, there are cops who do a good job and there are cops who do a poor job. This is plain and simple, and irrefutable. Also, on the other end of the spectrum, the burning and looting of Ferguson and the antagonizing of police is disgraceful. Violence and rioting only perpetuate stereotypes, take attention away from the real issue, and mostly hurt people within the same community. Although the outrage is understandable, the actions are senseless, and adverse to any progress. I condemn this behavior as would most rational people of any background.  It should be noted though that most people protesting in Ferguson and other cities around America are not violent and erratic, they are just practicing their civic right to speak against an injustice. 

So why is all of this still happening in this post-racial America? Why does it seem like we have been “blind-sided” by these heavy racial issues when we thought it was “all good”? Why are the 2010’s looking more and more like the 1960’s? Aren’t we past that? Didn’t we have the Civil Rights Movement, and hey, don’t we have a black president? The problem is that we like to pretend that we are color-blind. It is because we are saturated with pop-culture, television shows and McDonald’s commercials where everyone is mingling and doing just fine and we view it as people just being people; people being treated like they should be, as a good person or a bad person. All the prejudices went out the window a generation ago, all the racialism was “so yesterday”. Yet, even if it is subconscious, or parodied, we still have black men portrayed as the archetypes of strong, super athletic, oversexed, crude, beastly negros and black women as loud, angry and bitchy, and both as ignorant, lazy, and generally unintelligent. It’s there; you just have to a look with a third-eye because it may not be as obvious.

As a Rastaman and as a teacher I am one of the first to tell my students and the people I meet that we are all one and that there is only one human race (a beautiful truth). On the other hand, as a Rastaman and a teacher I am also one of the first to tell them that the social and historical construct of “race” is very real, very complicated, and that injustices, intolerance and preconceptions are still alive and well. In fact, the very reason why so much emphasis is put on “black and white” and not the myriad of other ethnicities and cultures in this country is because of our tumultuous past. Ignoring these facts help no one. There is a more insidious racism in existence now. Old-school bigotry is no longer chic or in many cases even tolerated. To borrow a term from radio talk show host Joe Madison, we no longer have “Jim Crow” but his more sophisticated grandson, “James Crow, Esq.” You can’t just go around saying certain things, but you can absolutely feel them, and you can codify them. For example, President Obama has been one of the most castigated presidents in modern history. Some critics call him everything but the N-Word, and yet they would defend themselves by saying they are simply ideologically opposed to him and don’t think that he is a good leader. What other president has had his birth and American citizenship questioned? What other president has had his religious belief scrutinized as if he was a threat to the American public because he could be a menacing anti-American black nationalist? These examples are not coming from real political concerns or disagreements, they come from irrational fear and mindless rhetoric, aka prejudice. They come from that same little dark place where many Americans have tucked away all of their ugly thoughts… in a vacuum of ignorance where the issue of race has not had to be confronted. Until now… 

That dark place is where, I presume, Officer Wilson went to when Michael Brown confronted him in anger. That dark place is where George Zimmerman went when he killed Trayvon Martin. That dark place is where the team of officers went when they choked the life from Eric Garner, that dark place manifests every time someone crosses the street to avoid a dark person on a dark street in the dark night. That dark place could God forbid one day affect my children if they are perceived a certain way, or my wife, or her siblings and cousins. The dark place instills fear in the hearts of men, on both sides of the color-line. People will say it has nothing to do with color, but it has everything to do with color.

Here we have the repercussion of living in our so-called post-racial America. It is a scary place that looks like something from our history books. We need to have a serious talk and educate ourselves, because history repeats itself. We need to learn from another, we need to take a walk in each other’s shoes; we need to recognize that although we are many colors, we are all one people. This dark place of ignorance, confusion, prejudice, brutality and racial profiling is what we Rastafari people call the Babylon System. It is a system that keeps both black and white, all humanity, in bondage. It needs to be confronted, and turning a color-blind eye to it will not help us. Knowledge is power, Truth is the light… shine it in all of those dark, dark places.

I close with this quote from Dr. King which although spoken in the 1960’s still rings true today: "The majority of white Americans consider themselves sincerely committed to justice for the Negro. They believe that American society is essentially hospitable to fair play and to steady growth torward a middle-class Utopia embodying racial harmony. But unfortunately this is a fantasy of self-deception and comfortable vanity. Overwhelmingly America is still struggling with irresolution and contradictions. It has been sincere and even ardent and welcoming some change. But too quickly apathy and disinterest rise to the surface when the next logical steps are to be taken. Laws are passed in a crisis mood after a Birmingham or Selma, but no substantial fervor survives the formal signing of legislation. The recording of the law in itself is treated as the reality of the reform." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Without Doubt or Apology, 
With Love and Sincerity,
JAHsh

The Dance Of Life & Death

Time can be such an elusive creature. Just when you think that you finally have a grasp of it, you lose your control as it wriggles free and speeds away from you. It has been over five months now since I've even made an honest attempt at writing and composing my thoughts… something that I used to do so freely and frequently. Life has cemented me in place. I indeed seemed to have lost my grasp of time, but what I gained in return was even greater, time to grow with my family… with my beautiful five month old daughter. The perspective that my time and creativity was lost or wasted is only one side of the story. The truth is that my energy and my focus was elsewhere, it was on something even greater than my love of writing. During these past five months (and beyond) some of the most wonderful, awe inspiring, and emotional events have occurred in my life, good and positive as well as sad and heartbreaking. For certain, my silence was not for a lack of something to write about. In fact, I felt overwhelmed and unable to properly pay tribute to what I was experiencing. Perhaps these moments were too potent and expansive for me to capture at the time, but now looking back I can see a pattern. So, now I break the silence to tell the tale of these voiceless months, the tale of life and death.

Even before I became a father I felt as if I had tuned in to some mystical frequency only afforded to those who truly can grasp the significance of life and the loss of life, a preparation for parenthood. I think that as human beings we have the ability to ponder life, which is remarkable in itself, but for the most part we tune out in order to have a sense of normalcy. So rather than having some uncanny realization, I believe that my sense of experiencing life was heightened. The truth is that the speed of life (and my practice of recording it in writing) had changed even before my baby was born, and occurred during the nine months waiting for her. The feeling of excitement and the sense of urgency was ubiquitous. I worked twice as hard, thought twice as often, and ate twice as much waiting for this due date on the calendar looming ahead in the distance. It was during this time that I first keenly observed the balance of life and death in action. 

Months into our pregnancy (I was guarding the belly, she was pregnant), my wife was able to bring home her mother from Ghana. It was a joyous occasion, this reunion between mother and daughter after many years living apart. It was during this same month, the day when students at the high school where I teach were to go on their Thanksgiving break, when one of the students tragically drowned in the school pool during a gym class. He was a recent immigrant from Ghana, which had a strange antithetical parallel to the new beginning that we would enjoy in our own family. As one mother mourned her son, a daughter celebrated her mother. This congruency between life and death was only just beginning.

I remember that it was about one month later when my wife was about 17 weeks through her pregnancy, and the terrible news of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Newtown, Connecticut broke. I was thinking of the parents of the young children who had sent them off to another regular day of school just before the holidays, and who had no idea that they would never see their children alive again. It struck a chord deep within my soul as I was anticipating and joyfully expecting my own child in the months to come. It also struck me that this tragic event unfolded only a week before most of Christendom celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ, filled with the symbolism of innocence and unconditional love. The irony was disturbing. I could only think about the loss of life that a mother or father had nurtured and protected, even before that life came into the world, and then to have it whisked away without any warning. My wife and I didn't know the sex of our baby growing in the womb, but we knew that we were parents, and we knew the human worth and the love that we had for our baby even though we could not see her. 

The following month, a former student of mine who had graduated from high school the year before had sadly died from complications after becoming ill. It happened suddenly and unexpectedly. I had seen this student almost every day during her time at the high school. She was my pupil, my teacher’s assistant, a member of my after-school club, she was a young friend. I had proudly watched her graduate the previous summer, and I was able to congratulate her happy family. My wife and I were greeted by her in surprise while shopping in a store only a few weeks before she had shockingly passed on. I can remember how she was so excited to see our baby growing in my wife’s belly. The next time I would see her was when she was lying in a casket at her funeral. It was one of the most heartbreaking things I had ever bore witness to, the death of someone I cared about who had their whole future in front of them. Someone that I had just seen and spoken to could smile and speak no more. The same family members that I had hugged with congratulations less than a year before, I now hugged with condolences. It was difficult to accept. Yet two weeks later one of my good friends had welcomed his baby son into the world. And all throughout this time of waiting and anticipating our own baby child, I clearly saw the dance between life and death, the interplay between its miraculous and joyous beginnings and the tragedy and the suffering of death.

Without a doubt, the greatest moment of my life so far, and the most definitive, was bearing witness to the birth of my baby daughter. Nine long months of waiting… not knowing whether we were having a boy or a girl, we were ready to greet our child into the world. After her safe and smooth delivery, I had the honor of introducing our daughter to her mother and calling her by the name we had chosen for her. The emotions running through me and the significance of the moment could not be captured in words as I cut the cord and held my daughter close to me for the first time. Unconditional love! Anticipating fatherhood had changed my life in many ways, but of course actually becoming a father changed my life in an unfathomable way. I instantly became conscious of the fact that I was now a family man and that my wife and my daughter were the most important people in my life and I would do anything to protect them. My eyes were open to an awareness I had not known until then.

Our daughter was only two months old when my wife and I took her on a 2,000 mile road trip to visit my grandmother, and meet her only great-grandmother for the first time. The summer pilgrimage was a beautiful one. Precious moments were spent together as we traveled and enjoyed our family vacation, but the greatest was when my Grandma was able to hold her great-granddaughter and watch her as she learned how to smile. Four generations were united together, beholding one another in love and wonder. It was a true testament to life. Life that seemed energized with the promise of tomorrow. After spending a couple of weeks with my grandmother and the rest of our family, we made our way back home. My grandmother stood by the door and waved goodbye to us, the same way she had always done since we were children. I left with the confidence that we would see her again the following summer. Life had a response to my presumption. Three weeks later, my grandmother passed. She had been healthy, happy, and buoyant when we saw her. She died in her own home after having a stroke. Though it was sudden and sad, my Grandma had made peace with her mortality. She had outlived her husband, she had seen my brothers and I get married, and she met her first great-grandchild. She had a spirit of love and genuine acceptance of life and the promise of heaven. She was ready to go, she wanted to go, I can only imagine that she felt fulfilled. I traveled back to say goodbye to the last grandparent I had left, and watch my Dad say goodbye to his mother. Once again, I watched the familiar dance between life and death.

As I write, outside my window I can see brown leaves crackling in the chilly wind, falling to the ground… in character of a typical autumn. Just as nature has its seasons, so too does the cycle of life. During this past year I’ve silently watched the dance between life and death unfold in several acts, a performance that was woven through awful tragedy and heartbreak, wondrous joy, and finally acceptance. It opened with conception and with hearing the first beat of my daughter’s heart during the last autumn. It concluded with our family saying goodbye during the euthanasia of our beloved family dog just a couple of weeks ago and hearing his heart beat for the last time. This dance is incomprehensible, it is natural… it is mystic.  It is something witnessed but not truly captured. In the end, I can say that I have seen it, I have studied it, and yet I am none the wiser. However, I do know the steps to the eternal dance, and now I am free to fall back into it, accept it, and find my muse. Life goes on, and I must write on.

JAHsh

Due Season

To say that my life has been eventful this past year is an understatement. So many things have been happening that it has been hard for me to take the time to just sit and meditate, let alone take account of it all. It seems like it was summer only a short while ago and I was bound for Ghana, Africa to see my wife's side of the family. Of course, my experience there was overwhelmingly significant, and there are so many things for me to share and reflect on in regard to that journey. Soon come, that is another story to tell. After our summer it was back to work, teaching the youths, and the months and seasons went by more quickly than I could imagine. Where did all the time go? What happened to my exercise routine? What happened to all of my writings and reasonings… my poetry? I hope to bring them about a bit more regularly again, but all in due season, at least I break the silence with this message. Something special has prompted me to write today on the once in a lifetime date of December, 12, 2012. 12-12-12 is the last major numerical date using the Gregorian calendar for about another century, when three numbers align (as they did on 9-9-09, 10-10-10 and 11-11-11). It is a cool phenomenon, but that is not what makes this day so special for me and my family.

For a very long time, my wife had been working on trying to bring her mother to the United States from Ghana to join her and her father here in Connecticut. This would be the dream of a lifetime, because although they had been living apart for 30 years, her parents remained married and faithful to one another. Her father lived and worked in the U.S. sending money and provisions home to Africa, while her Mom stayed in Accra, Ghana raising their children and taking care of the household. For her parents, time together was few and far between, when her father was able to take some vacation time to travel to Ghana. When my wife and were planning for our wedding, we also filed all the necessary paperwork to initiate the long, long process of bringing my mother-in-law here as well. It was our hope that she would be able to attend our wedding day, but unfortunately there were a series of obstacles in the way that prevented that wish from happening. Dealing with the Department of U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services is a labyrinth of twists and turns that often leads you to complete frustration, I experienced it second-hand. Each time that my wife and father-in-law thought they had completed all the necessary steps, something else came up. After nearly a year of back-and-forth with the government, Mom’s application was processed and we had to wait for an interview date to be determined.

This past summer, my wife and I travelled to Ghana and were hoping that while we were there we would get the date for her Mom’s interview and arrangements could be made to bring her to America. However, once we were in Accra, a notice came stating that the interview date would be in September, once we would back home and working. The interview at the American embassy is an important part of making it through the gauntlet, and it can be a tricky situation when the officials are combing through every detail of the application and all the files that were required to accompany it. My wife was intent on physically being there with her mother since she was her sponsor who filed her immigration application. So, my wife had to travel back to Ghana in September and attend this meeting, with the hopes of bringing her Mom to the States this time. Thankfully, the embassy granted our Mom permission to come over. However, the visa would not be issued until a month later in October. This meant a third journey to Ghana before everything was done! My wife waited until the week before Thanksgiving in November and flew to Africa once more. Mom had her received her visa, bags were packed, and finally after all that time… after all the paperwork, expenses, and physically flying between two continents three times in as many months, she arrived.

This evening on 12-12-12, we celebrated my Mom-In-Law’s first birthday in America. We sat together as a family, eating fufu and light soup, laughing, sharing stories, and being thankful. My wife has not seen her parents living together properly under one roof for her entire lifetime. To see her Mom and Dad on the same side of the table, celebrating her Mom’s birthday, is nothing short of a miracle for us. It has been a few weeks since Mom came to the States and she is happy and well, and getting acquainted with American life (she never left West Africa before). Now she is enjoying time with her husband, her daughter, and her son-in-law. Lives worlds apart were finally united together after so much time.

This amazing story is a story of endurance. What I managed to put forth here, late on a Wednesday night and rusty from a lack of writing, does not do it justice. It is so incredible that we as a family have to pause in order to appreciate that it is reality. The amount of faith, energy, and patience that it took to trod this road and reach this point is beyond measure. However, the lesson here is that everything comes in its due season, and everything will align itself just the way it should be, when it should be, like 12-12-12. With persistence and faith, we can endure the time until we reap the harvest. Patience removes mountains. Something that seemed impossible and insurmountable is now behind us on this journey called life. We all have our own obstacles, whether it is U.S. Immigration or finances or physical distance. An African proverb says, “While there is a mountain in your path, do not sit down at its foot and cry. Get up and climb it.” Our family has overcome a mountain, and we will still have more mountains to climb in this life… but we can do it with a little bit of patience and faith, and so can you! Life is beautiful, and when you think you have it figured it out, it will surprise you once again. Happy Birthday Mom! Let JAH be praised! 

JAHsh

Africa Bound

Today on the 120th Earthlight of His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Haile Selassie I, I prepare for my journey to Africa tomorrow. My wife and I will be travelling to Ghana to spend time with her family and see her homeland again after three years of being away. For me, it has been a lifetime of being away. To claim Ghana or anywhere in Africa as a “home” would be something I could never have imagined before I was married, and although this is my first trod to the Motherland, knowing that my Empresses’ family is there to receive me gives me that joyous feeling of home already. Africa awaits with open arms.

Words escape me as I am writing this because I am overwhelmed with many thoughts and emotions. In fact, I’ve had a hard time articulating anything when people ask me about it. As a Rastaman, this is a dream come true... stepping on African soil, sacred land. I feel like an ancient soul finally finding peace in my roots. Many people in the West do not have the opportunity to travel to Africa, nor do they have the connections to do so with comfort and security. I am very blessed and very fortunate in that regard. More so, I am meeting the rest of my wife’s family, relations that I have only been able to speak with on the phone. To greet my mother-in-law and my siblings-in-law for the first time will be an honor and an experience that I have not yet fully conceived. To spend time learning more about them and growing as family will be the ultimate blessing. In a day I will be enjoying  their company, music, and food in Accra, Ghana... a world away from Connecticut.

A world away indeed... As much as I am familiar with Africa, it is another thing to be there and live it. Everything I understand about Ghana or Africa in general may or may not completely change or evolve. I don’t really know what to expect, but I have a positive mind and therefore I am confident in having good expectations for this voyage. As exciting and new as it will be, I feel that it will also provide the inspiration to reinvigorate my spirit. Going to Ghana will help me to reflect more on my livity and trod with Rastafari. I plan to keep a journal during my stay, and write often. Mental exhaustion has affected my ability to write as much as I once enjoyed, even during these summer months. There will be much to think about, and much to say, this is for certain. From my perspective as constant student of African History, I will see places that I have learned about only in books or documentaries such as the legacy of the Ashanti Empire, the Elmina and Cape Coast Castles, and the resting places of Kwame Nkrumah and W. E. B. Du Bois... just to name a few. I will be completely absorbed in my “dreamland across the sea”, as many reggae songs have evoked.

I know that this will be the first of many trips to Ghana because of my family, but I hesitate to presume too much simply because I am in awe of the fact. It is my hope that I explore and grow close to Ghana more and more, this haven for African Liberation and progress. It is also my hope that I am able to experience other regions of Africa and ultimately Ethiopia. What better way to celebrate the birth of the great King Selassie I than with a trip to Mama Africa? It will be a time of cultural and educational exchange, an opportunity to become acquainted with my African brethren and for them to know me in turn.... something His Majesty always promoted. It is a blessing that I am extremely grateful for. I am so excited to meet new family, and I am so deeply moved to experience this ancient land. I am eager to soak it all in and share my travels with the massive when I return. Until that time, blessings! Mama Africa, we are coming home...

JAHsh, The Obroni Rastaman

“Hello, Mama Africa, how are you?
I'm feeling fine and I hope you're fine too 
Hello, Mama Africa, how are you ?
I hope when you hear these words 
Your greys turn blue, greys turn blue”
- Garnett Silk

African Unity

Africa. When I bring up the name of the mother of all continents with students in my classroom, or in conversations with average everyday people, I can already predict the type of commentary I’ll receive: “poor people, war, primitive, disease, wild animals”, and so forth. Even if we dismiss the attitudes spawned out of bigotry or ignorance held by the international community (which we cannot), at the very least the perception of Africa is a pessimistic one. Why does it appear to so many people as if no good can ever come out of Africa? Why does it seem like the media only reports on the failure and depravity of African nations? How can the richest and most ancient continent on Earth have the poorest people? As a Rastaman and a teacher, I do my best to address the negative attitudes about Africa. Yes, the continent still suffers very much, but now more than ever in modern times there are some wonderful things to say about Mama Africa as she moves toward a renaissance. We celebrate African Liberation Day, or Africa Day, as the beginning of a new independent Africa and the harbinger of good things that are yet to come.

On this day, May 25th, 1963, the charter for the Organization of African Unity (OAU) was signed by 32 independent African nations, just a few short years after they gained independence from their colonial European powers. Emperor Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia presided over the formation of the OAU (now the African Union) along with other revolutionary African leaders like Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana with the goal of urging the African nations to unite on common ground. While some leaders were in favor of more gradual efforts to unify, others like Nkrumah who held socialist and Pan-Africanist ideas, looked to create a strong federation, a United States of Africa. This was a manifestation of the dreams held by the Pan-African Congress first organized by W.E.B. Du Bois, and the efforts of so many other freedom-fighters from Africa and the African Diaspora in the Caribbean and America seeking to eradicate colonialism. The OAU was the foundation for African solidarity, for having a collective voice, for building a real economic and political future, to defend human rights and raise the living standards of Africans at home and abroad. However, political self-determination came with many challenges for the newly independent nations and for those nations still to be liberated. Remember, Britain did not decolonize Zimbabwe until 1980, and an apartheid government existed in South Africa until 1994.

For centuries, Africa, with all of its wealth and its once proud trade empires of ancient and medieval times, had been exploited of its natural and human resources, damaged and segmented by the slave trade and colonialism brought by both the Arab and European world. After so many years of darkness, a swift strengthening and healing could not be possible for these vulnerable nations. Borders were drawn across the African continent, leaving nations with diverse ethnic groups, cultures, and religions that became the catalysts for conflict and control. During the Cold War the United States and USSR competed for influence in independent Africa, seeking resources and strategic locations. Since independence, political turmoil has resulted in frequent military coups, and true democracy is frequently stifled by one-party systems and eventually dictatorships. Natural resources have been exploited by either imperialist economies or warlords seeking regional control. Furthermore, foreign assistance largely ceased along with the Cold War and many African nations were left in debt to the IMF and the World Bank, beholden to foreign governments and businesses, the people of these countries have suffered through poverty and the other problems that spawn from it. 

In the midst of all the chaos and crisis, some heroes of the African independence movement were ousted from power by rivals or became despotic rulers. Kwame Nkrumah, the father of my wife’s native country Ghana, the leader who proclaimed “self-government now”, was one of those. When he became the first president of Ghana, some of his political tactics were considered to be authoritarian, and in efforts to modernize the country, the nation fell into debt which eventually led to him being overthrown (some say with the help of the CIA). Now decades later, many Ghanaians regard Nkrumah as a hero who tried to build up the nation and who promoted the liberation and unification of the whole African continent. Jomo Kenyatta of Kenya was another founding African statesman and the first president of his country who had also been criticized during his reign and yet has been regarded as a hero. Along with Kwame Nkrumah, Kenyatta was one of the first African leaders to get involved and collaborate with W.E.B. DuBois and the Pan-Africanist Congress. Before Kenya’s independence he was imprisoned by the British for allegedly aiding the Mau Mau rebellion. He was also the inspiration of reggae’s Burning Spear. Finally, there is the father of African unity, H.I.M. Haile Selassie I who was overthrown by the Communist Derg leader Mengistu Haile Mariam after famine caused distress amongst the people. Yet, Emperor Selassie I had modernized Ethiopia, promoted education, made the ancient monarchy a constitutional one, and helped lay the foundation for the OAU (and now the African Union), in his own capital of Addis Ababa. Critics who claimed that H.I.M. was an autocrat used fraudulent reasons to take power. Derg supporters and foreign journalists like Ryszard Kapuściński (who was a Communist and sympathetic to Mariam) spread and wrote deceitful things about Haile Selassie I and ignored the arrests and executions of university students, intellectuals and politicians and the forceful exile of the royal family by the military coup. Why can’t the world honor these men and their achievements without discrediting them?

I do not advocate totalitarianism, corruption, or the violation of human rights... but let’s be honest. Many of the same things that African leaders, past and present, have been blamed for are things that go unnoticed or whitewashed in the politics of the Western world.  Particularly in regard to Emperor Haile Selassie I, Kwame Nkrumah, and Jomo Kenyatta, where no violence or terrible infringements of human rights have ever been honestly attributed to them. These great men were liberators and sought the unification of the entire African continent and to say that their leadership needs to be measured against the example of American or Western democracy is unsuited and unfair especially when examples of good governance were absent even during colonial rule (besides Ethiopia). There are many perspectives and authors to history. Some of these views are right and some are wrong... and more often than not, there is a blending of both. Ultimately the Truth does reveal itself, and I believe it will favor those who fought for the rights and dignity of the oppressed by any means necessary. Of course there have been dictators in the truest sense of the word like Mobutu Sese Seko, Idi Amin, Charles Taylor, and others who have used torture, murder, war, and political manipulation to keep power. Fortunately, over the years the citizens of many of these African countries have forced dictatorships to hold elections and transition to some form of democracy. 

Over the past few months the news stories coming out of Africa have been bleak, as usual... and underreported, as usual. The military Islamist organization called Boko Haram is still terrorizing Nigeria with violence, ethnic attacks and a coup d’état took place in Mali, battles in the new country of South Sudan, political commotion in Senegal, and continued problems in the Congo and Somalia. Oh, and of course you had the flash-in-the-pan that was “Kony 2012”, a YouTube popularity contest to find Uganda warlord, Joseph Kony, whom people have known about for over 20 years. In fact there are existing documentaries about Kony and the LRA that are at least 10 years old now. What have been the real actual fruits of this campaign besides a few sensationalized news stories aired for a couple of weeks in April? Not to take anything away from the terrible amounts of suffering that people endure in these war-torn and unstable areas, but this is the image of Africa that we are left with: a helpless, despaired, “dark continent”... unable to rise on its own without the help of some well-intended Western college students, missionaries, and celebrities. It perpetuates the notion that Africa is unable to help itself and become great again. However, on the flip-side is plenty of evidence that Africa is on the rise.

There are many hopeful signs that point to a good future for Africa. Africa is in the midst of a population explosion, middle classes are emerging, business entrepreneurship is evolving, urbanization is spreading, and economies are growing with the help of new foreign investment, particularly from China. There is more freedom from Western influences and more competition in the African economies, which means that foreign interests have to play by African rules. With such changes, livelihoods are changing for the better as well. Many young, globally connected, and increasingly more educated Africans are demanding political changes, better healthcare, functional governments, free elections, and are realizing the necessity for being the creators of their own destinies. Africa is slowly and steadily on the rise. The flaws and failures will eventually even out after many years of growing pains. For all of the negative incidents shown in the news, not enough of the African success stories are highlighted for others to see, like the economic gains of today’s Ghana and Mozambique. It is important to look at these many factors when examining Africa. To do so is not ignoring the problems that currently exist, but rather being optimistic of the things that are sure to come. 

Look to Mama Africa with optimism and hope, just like the Pan-Africanist leaders, Selassie, Nkrumah, and Kenyatta. Like DuBois, George Padmore and Dudley Thompson from America and the Caribbean. No matter who you are or where you come from, Africa is the birthplace of humanity and the foundation of our global future. The whole world is Africa. So, let us hail up Africa, like Marcus Garvey once wrote:

Hail! United States of Africa-free!

Hail! Motherland most bright, divinely fair!

State in perfect sisterhood united,

Born of truth; mighty thou shalt ever be.

- “Hail, United States of Africa” by Marcus Garvey

Happy African Liberation Day; Africa Unite, 

JAHsh

Kwame Nkrumah & H.I.M. Haile Selassie I

Adjusting To Jubilation

It is important to know that life is a very wonderful gift, and that we should be mindful of this as we take this journey of ours. While getting carried through the whirlwind of our responsibilities, busy schedules, and daily routines, we need to acknowledge that these stresses are only small and often insignificant parts of who we are and what we do. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to pull out of our micromanaging and take a moment to be aware and give thanks. This year has been incredibly hectic for me, and since it is my birthday today, I celebrate it with an opportunity for reflection on what I have and how I am managing it.

I begin with mentioning that married life is something that I have been really busy adjusting to. It is very different from the lifestyle I once had as a bachelor. I follow that statement with mentioning that nothing could be more satisfying and wonderful than married life. Beginning and ending each new day with the love of my life, my best friend, my Empress, is a truly magnificent blessing alone. I can remember days of solitude, days of wondering whether or not there was that special woman for me... and then here I am spending each day and night with her! We share a home together, this little place of our own that we can take refuge in after long days of work. We have our arms to comfort one another. We have our shared experiences. To an outsider, it may seem boring or ridiculously ordinary. However, it is this constant and steadfast rhythm which is truly amazing. This stability is built on love, trust, and satisfaction. These qualities seem typical because we all desire them and strive for them in one way or another, but they are very extraordinary. So much so, that it seems just... ordinary. I liken it to the earth, spinning each day on its axis... turning day into night, and orbiting around the sun, bringing season after season. We expect these things, we are familiar with these things, but this act literally keeps the world turning. Together with my wife, “moon and sun” as I had written in a poem for our wedding, this daily turn with my Significant Other is significant indeed.

However, with married life comes a newfound responsibility. Being there for each other emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically can be exhausting. A single person meets their own needs (which is often a feat in itself), and then extends themselves to others when necessary. A married person must consider their partner, must make sacrifices, and must meet each other’s needs. Add to this being a homeowner, juggling mortgage payments, loans and bills, for the sake of securing your family. It is a very different way of life, but certainly it is a good type of “different”. Adjusting to that tempo is something that I am still learning. Even though I know that many challenges await us in our long years ahead (JAH willing), we have the commitment and love to succeed.

Adding to the daily rigors of (newly) married life is my life as a teacher. Those of us who are teachers know that the lifestyle of an educator can be very exhausting and very taxing. It has been a difficult year for me professionally for a variety of reasons, one of which includes working multiple jobs. Stability is just as important to a career as it is to personal or married life... we long for having a sense of achievement and a sense of worth, and when we feel stressed, overwhelmed, or unappreciated it can really affect our entire life and our outlook on life. Being in this situation has taught me a few things this year, at least an awareness of how important or unimportant something actually is. Whereas a sense of stability is vital and hopefully expected in married life, there is less of a guarantee for this at work. Changes can come quickly, both positive and negative. Unfortunately there has been a lot of negativity to cope with this year as a teacher, whether on a local level, state and national level, or even cultural level. Add to this the fact that socializing with so many people, and in my case indifferent teenagers, comes with a lot of extra pressures. Yet, although it is a facet of my life, it is NOT my life... not your life, not our life. Life is much more than that, and at times it is very necessary for us to skim it off the surface and reconstitute ourselves. Time for realignment (or vacation, whichever comes first).

As a married couple, having time for our families and our friends is another new adjustment. It is not always easy to keep this component at the forefront of our lives, but I believe it is necessary. Family is very important to me and, along with my wife, I am very blessed to have my relationships with my parents and brothers, my in-laws, and other relatives to all prosper. This is rare for so many people nowadays, so I acknowledge this as a true blessing. The simple fact that my wife and I can address each other’s parents as “Mom” and “Dad” and say it with love and feeling is such an awesome thing in itself. Friendship can be trickier to maintain because it requires communication and understanding to stay strong... but we all need it, and we should all value it. So I say to all my friends and family alike... I love you! As one of my friends has always said to me, “two mountains don’t always meet”.  So distance is no matter when hearts and minds are in tune. I am confident that I will get better at making time for all the people I love and care for, give thanks for the patience.

Now, after making time for my wife, my family and friends, I am working on reestablishing time for myself: Time to educate myself on the things that inspire me, time to strengthen my convictions, time set aside to write (which has been sparse this year for aforementioned reasons), time to read, time to keep physically fit, time to sing, time to celebrate. Time for doing the things that make me who I am... a husband, a teacher, a Rastaman, a friend, a world citizen. Yes these things are very important and necessary.

Finally I end this by saying I give thanks to God, whom I call JAH, Jehovah, Rastafari. Life is great and beautiful, but I can never forget the blessings that I have. For me it is important to acknowledge the Creator’s hand in this life of mine... because it is very real in my sight. When life is good, it is human for us to forget about God. I cannot. After expressing all the new things I am learning to adjust to, one can see how these adjustments are really just growing into the blessings that have been forwarded unto I&I. I have my Empress, I have my family, and friends. I have my health and strength. I have a meaningful vocation. I have a voice. Today, on my birthday, I renew my friendship with JAH and give thanks for life!

Yes, give thanks for another year and for all my blessings. I hope to keep this fire burning... so, all the Massive, check for the reasonings, poems, and lyrics in a Rastaman stylee! I am still here and there are still so many things to say.

More Love,
JAHsh

Still Waters Run Deep

For months I’ve been wanting to sit down and write something intriguing. The year 2011 was full of significant events, both personal and global, so it’s not as if there was a shortage of things to write about. However, on this New Year’s Eve I am left with an unimpressive collection of writings to show for the year. At times I would start something, but the most that would come of it were some half-scribbled notes strewn about somewhere. On other occasions I had some worthy thoughts to share, but I had neither the energy nor time to commit any of them to writing. It’s been tough not being able to express myself as much and when compared to last year when I wrote prolifically, 2011 might seem like a silent river rolling through time. Yet as the old proverb goes, “still waters run deep”. For those on the “river banks” looking in, the true greatness and bounty of 2011 was what actually lay beneath the surface of my life.

2011 was the biggest year of my life. It was the year I purchased my first home. It was the year I ran my first race. It was the year I got engaged to my beautiful Empress. Finally, and most significantly, it was the year that she and I married and became one before the Almighty. All of these huge blessings came so naturally, but also so unexpectedly. Looking back several years ago, I would have had no premonitions at all. Even in 2010, where there were hints of things to come, I still wouldn’t have been able to fully grasp it all. Normally, I have at least some words to express myself on landmark events, especially when it comes to my own life. Yet, all I could do was just soak it all in, and absorb the love and the good fortune that I was experiencing every single day. It has been a year of giving thanks for all that I have.

How can one describe the most momentous day of his life? How do you capture the emotions, the nuances, and every single note of the symphony of blessings that played? You can’t. No photographs, videos, or written accounts can capture the absolute brilliance of that day in early October. Our wedding was amazing. We worked so hard to make it what we had hoped it to be, a joyous start to our lives together. We were the creators of our union... fusing our love for each other, our spirituality and love for JAH, our roots and culture, our families and our friends all together into a celebration that was more than we could have imagined. Moreover, we were blessed in so many ways that were completely out of our control, including having the most spectacular weather. It wasn’t a fairy-tale wedding with fanfare and ridiculous expenses like 2011’s British Royal Wedding. It wasn’t a typical wedding like you see in magazines or television shows. Rather, it was our own reality, our values, our design, our vows. It was the celebration of a lifetime for the union of lifetime. Even if things had not gone as we planned, the outcome would have still been the same, and nothing would ever or could ever keep my Empress and I apart. No power on earth could ever keep us from being bound together in love and unity. Of course... that was all the easy part. It was all in the hands of the Most High!

A lesson that I quickly learned is that becoming a married man means having additional responsibilities and an abundant amount of patience. In fact, a few days earlier I was joking with friends that you truly aren’t a man until you become a married man (and yes, I’ve been reminded that having children will redefine living once again). It’s not just about living for yourself anymore and doing anything that you want as long as you have the means and time to do it. Being married makes things completely different. I now think as a couple and I play the game of life a little more tactfully. For me, 2011 has meant having financial obligations that I never had to cope with before, making decisions and compromising on issues that I would not have had to consider. Being married has even changed my vernacular, it’s not “I” or “me” anymore, it is “us”, “we”, yes, it is I&I! Despite it all, it has not been all that difficult (although I’m sure that I can reflect on this more accurately next year). More than anything, it has been time consuming.

So while I have been adjusting to the responsibilities that come with being a married man, the world has kept turning. Politically, there have been huge changes in the world. It was the year of the “Arab Spring” with revolutions and uprisings in Egypt, Libya, Syria, Tunisia, Yemen and other countries in the Middle East and North Africa. Osama Bin Laden was killed, so was Muammar Qaddafi. Kim Jong Il died. South Sudan became the world’s newest country. All types of natural disasters reminded us that we humans are just one small part of the world: earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, fires, hurricanes, and epic snow storms. Also, we cannot forget about the terrible ongoing famine in Somalia (it seems that it only survived news headlines for a few days). Back in America we have had protests and demonstrations of our own with the Occupy Movement in response to the economy and unemployment. Politicians and candidates claim to have solutions to the nation’s problems but they continue to blunder and argue like fools. 2011 was a year of shifting tides, but the seas are still stormy and there will be much to reflect on in 2012.

Still waters run deep, and I’ve been too still this past year to get too deep into any other thoughts, but I do end this year with the prospect of making positive changes in the year to come. I am not one to make New Year’s resolutions, but I do hope to settle into my new lifestyle a little more and bring balance. I hope to write more and reflect more. I hope to be more patient and more organized. I hope to spend more time with JAH, giving thanks and praises. I hope to grow more with my wife and my entire family in a positive way. I hope to make it to Africa. Whatever comes in 2012, I know that life is as good as we make it... so I say to make the most of it, and God will handle the rest. 2012 has a negative stigma to it because of Mayan calendars and Nostradamus prophecies, but you can’t live in fear and negativity. Better must come. Live up, live good, and be the change you want to see in the world.

One Love & Happy New Year,
JAHsh

My Time Has Come

Around this time last year, if someone had told me about all of the huge blessings and positive changes in life that would manifest for me, I would have probably laughed and thought that it would be great but unrealistic. After all, a year is not that much time... especially when you are busy and a good portion of your life becomes routine. How could so many things happen in such a short amount of time... things that I had been waiting on for ages it seemed? I am an optimist, but I am also a realist. When I turned 30 last May, I had my ideas and hopes for the future, but I was mostly looking back on what things I had accomplished and the significance attached to the milestone year I was passing into. What would come, would come in its own due season. Apparently that season was my 30th year. It was a very good year!

So what exactly happened? It is hard to fathom, but within the days falling between May 22nd of 2010 and May 22nd of 2011, I was given the following blessings. One, finding and becoming engaged to my beautiful fiancée, “my puzzle piece”, who fits into my life as if she were tailor made, and I truly know this to be true. Two, owning my first home, my own place, my own space... it is amazing. Three, taking on an additional job in education and succeeding at it. Four, getting healthier by the day and surpassing goals in my physical fitness. I could go on and recognize many other good things, but no words could ever do any of it justice. Moreover, each of these things are not mere “flashes in the pan”, rather they are investments that will continue to multiply during this next year and the years to come. Nothing in my life thus far can compare to this sense of achievement that I feel. It is a natural mystic...

All of this proves to me that life is full of so many great and wonderful possibilities. Often times, we may see our goals as far away and unobtainable, like a mirage in the distant horizon. Yet at the same time, what may appear as a mirage could in fact be the real thing, and in that case one would only have to be patient, persistent, and trod forward in the proper direction. Some things will come into our lives quite naturally, but other things we will have to work for in order to take advantage of the opportunity. By doing certain things in advance, I put myself in a good position to receive what was in store for me. It hasn’t been easy, and at times I am exhausted (so exhausted that it is harder for me to find the time to write and reflect these days), but it is for the sake of being progressive and being fruitful.

We must also realize that there is a time for everything, and it’s usually not the time that we have in mind for ourselves. I had gone through most of my 20’s seemingly chasing the proverbial carrot on a stick. I would never have thought that it would come back to me on a silver platter once I had stopped running after it. Therefore I must tell my friends to not get caught up in a tangle of time and age... because the proper time will come if you be still and have some faith. There is no need to fear time or try to stop it. Embrace it and experience it... it opens doors of overstanding (understanding).

So, having turned 31 just a few days ago, I must say I am the happiest that I’ve ever been. I know that I will continue to hold this joy because it doesn’t end here. Although it is easy to single out “30” as being special, there is the potential for the next years to be even greater because everything builds on the foundations of times past. I can’t wait to enjoy some of the harvest I’ve reaped and to take the seeds and plant again for the next season. Good seed grows good fruit!

I give thanks to the Almighty for my time to shine, for the goodness to light my way on this journey called life. It was an amazing year of my life, and now I can share this life with my Empress and a family gained. Oh JAH, You have been so good to me! Please, bless me continually!

Life Is Beautiful,
JAHsh

Stop Dreaming, Start Doing

Many great things have taken place in American history thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and other civil rights leaders who devoted their lives to overcoming the evils of injustice and hypocrisy. It took a phenomenal amount of courage to lead a revolution against the status quo that dominated American society at the time. It took determination to boldly fight for the transcendental Truth which had been hidden away and ignored since the founding of the United States. It took wisdom and foresight to look for changes and dismantle racist and oppressive institutions but without vengeance, without blood, and without hatred. Finally it took action. Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke eloquently and his words will always live on, but he is mostly remembered because he was also a man of action. Rhetoric is not enough to make change occur. Dr. King emerged as a leader during a tumultuous time in the U.S. , as did many other people, mostly nameless, who also dedicated their lives to battling racism and raise awareness of the problems in America. We have examples of Thurgood Marshall fighting against legal segregation, the Little Rock Nine, Jackie Robinson breaking the color line in MLB, the murder of Emitt Till, Rosa Parks and the bus boycotts. We think of the nonviolent protests, sit-in movements, the Freedom Riders, James Meredith, Medgar Evers, and the Dr. King’s March on Washington. The protests and several tragic killings of black Americans brought national attention to the civil rights movement. Without action and without sacrifice, social justice and progress might not have happened.

Since MLK’s time, we live in a free and cosmopolitan society. Whether it is in our own communities or through media and pop-culture, America can be seen as a place where all kinds of different people can hope to live in peace and happiness no matter your race, creed, complexion and now more increasingly, your sexual orientation. Ideally, you can safely walk wherever you want and you can go to any public facility or event. Legally, there is equality in schools, and in the work-place. Generations of American children have grown up with multiethnic friends and heroes. We have even lived to see the election of a black president, President Barack Obama. These achievements have been an inspiration to the world, especially in nations that lived vicariously through the victory African-Americans had won during the civil rights era. The Caribbean and African nations drew on the examples of leadership and struggle found in the U.S., as did all types of people from Asian, Latin American, and European countries. This is why we celebrate Martin Luther King Day in America. Yet, it is also why we are forgetting the true example and legacy of MLK.

Because so much has seemingly changed, and because generations of young Americans grew up in a country that no longer has obvious signs of racism, we often forget that this progress was not an overnight phenomenon. Dr. Martin Luther King did not give his “I Have A Dream Speech” on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and immediately afterward people were overcome with the need to hug each other and apologize for the wrong’s of the past and present. No, MLK was an example of one of those people taking the first steps toward equality. After African-Americans were protected by the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act, resentment against this legislation led to increased racism in some parts of the North with de facto discrimination. Opponents of civil rights became violent, activists were attacked and killed... Dr. King was assassinated. Change did not come right away, in fact, it seemed too slow, which is why many African-American activists like Malcolm X and Stokely Carmichael sought out more militant forms of protest against discrimination and segregation. Much of this frustration and racial tension erupted in the form of violence and riots. Although it may have not have followed suit with MLK’s dream, this part of the civil rights movement ultimately led to cultural pride and political gains that had not existed before. Martin Luther King, Jr. is remembered, but we rarely recall the continuation of the civil rights movement or the transition into our modern identity as America, which is still a mission in progress.

It is great to honor and respect Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the other civil rights leaders and activists... but the greatest honor to him would be to realize that the movement still continues and that we all need to continue to be activists. Too many of us have become comfortable and apathetic. Problems did not end with the civil rights era. Neither black or white, or any other Americans, are living in a utopian society. Unemployment, urban poverty, and homelessness have been in the rise for several decades, and because of the current economic and social challenges that we are facing, these problems only continue to grow. Furthermore, these issues are magnified in the African-American and other “minority” communities because of their historical situations and years of discrimination. It is not enough to depend on historical legacy or our government to make the change. We have to initiate it with direct action, and we must fight against the enemies of our advancement.

MLK’s mission in life was for people everywhere to have dignity, equality, and justice... especially within the disadvantaged black community. This has not yet happened, and there are still plenty of roadblocks in the way. Racism and discrimination still exists in America. It would be foolish to believe that it all just disappeared after the civil rights era. It is alive and well, but not blatantly obvious. Instead, it is hidden in conservative political rhetoric, disguised as concerned radio talk-show hosts, and in agendas that in reality negatively affect the black community. Educational and social challenges remain. An achievement gap exists between white and black students (I see this first-hand as a high school teacher). Black students have higher dropout rates, lower test scores, and fewer enrollments in colleges. Many schoolchildren are increasingly separated by race in resegrated schools because of middle class families moving into suburbs. The increase in single-parent families has resulted in a struggle with providing education and health opportunities for the youths. The cost of living is high and many black communities are still plagued with crime and inequality and job and educational opportunities. These have been on-going problems and all too often they are blamed on the victims instead of the powers-that-be.

It is hard times in America, for everyone, but disproportionately for minorities and the working poor despite the progress that civil rights have made. People have a right to question things, people have a right to have opportunities available to them... yet there are some that would like to reverse many of the advances we have made in regard to social equality and justice. It is the same sentiments that existed before the civil rights but now in the angry voices of movements like the Tea Party which speak of “taking America back”. Yet I have questions to ask, and questions which must be answered honestly. Taking America back to what... back to when? When the whole nation wasn’t feeling what African-Americans and others have been feeling for centuries? Back when there was no political participation voice for these people? Back when there was no government assistance or political progress for these people? Back to when black people were 3/5ths of a person in our original Constitution? Dare I say, back to slavery days?... Many conservatives and concerned citizens are blaming President Barack Obama, a black president, for these problems, but if you are a student of American history, you would know that these economic and social problems have been in the black community all along. Is this all political rhetoric against “liberalism” and “socialism” or are some Caucasian people afraid of losing power in a time of black leadership? Some of these same people pretend they love Dr. King and even “March on Washington”, but they really do not agree that political and economic progress must be shared by all, for the benefit of all. They are afraid of change... They refuse to give up a little power after cheating millions of people for centuries with inferior education, poor housing, unemployment, and inadequate health care. To try and repeal the Health Care Bill that President Obama passed is just one example of this disguised attack against social and racial justice.

We have the responsibility and privilege to work together and improve the quality of life for our generation and generations to come. We need to continue a legacy of progress that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spearheaded. We need to stay focused and work toward the goals of racial equality for all persons, no matter race, color or creed. We need to take an active role in our communities and in local and national politics. We need to fight against ignorance and poverty until we can stand together as one solid foundation and to once again be an inspiration to rest of the world.

It is easier to praise a man or woman and venerate them than it is to follow in his or her footsteps and continue to do their life’s work. Instead of taking the message and actively applying it to the world, the person becomes idolized and even worshipped. It has happened all throughout history with all kinds of people, the greatest example being Jesus Christ (theology aside). It only took a few centuries before the early Christians became less concerned about fulfilling Christ’s way of life and more focused on the worship of Him. It only took a few more centuries before His followers argued over His divinity and waged wars and killed in His name, instead of remembering His teachings and His life. It is happening more and more with the name, “Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr”. We are becoming dependent on him as an icon. We are idolizing him and saying that the work is done. We speak of MLK, the name of our hero, but barely know the sacrifice and the struggle, or respect the fact that we are now the torch-bearers.

Most of us have become stuck in between the lines of “I Have A Dream”, and we are still dreaming. We have not woken up to reality. We have not done enough to continue his legacy. No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, you can do something to fight for social justice... you can do something to improve the lives of the human race. Why not remember Dr. King in an active way, instead of a day off from school or work? We should follow the example of President Obama and others who ask us to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with a day of service and demonstrate our hope and faith in the future. H.I.M. Haile Selassie I once said that, “he who is worthy of praise amongst men is the man who, animated by sentiments of justice, perseveres in the way of equity...”. Dr. King was certainly a man worthy of praise. Let us also be men and women worthy of praise. Let us keep striving in order to grow as a nation and as a people.

Stop dreaming and start doing! Rastafari!,
JAHsh

“Justice for black people will not flow into society merely from court decisions nor from fountains of political oratory. Nor will a few token changes quell all the tempestuous yearnings of millions of disadvantaged black people. White America must recognize that justice for black people cannot be achieved without radical changes in the structure of our society. The comfortable, the entrenched, the privileged cannot continue to tremble at the prospect of change in the status quo...” – Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Strive And Be Alive

It is often during the approach of New Year’s Eve that people begin to reflect on what has been achieved during the past year, or sometimes simply what events have taken place… which are not always pleasant. This is why we focus mainly on the achievements, the milestones we have passed on our journey along Life’s Road and that reassure us of the direction that we are going in. Life is in constant motion. In fact, a philosopher (possibly Heraclitus) once said that, “the only thing constant in life is change”. This is true, and you can see it two ways. You can take it that everything you build and pursue is fleeting (which is rather depressing), or you can take it to understand that life is alive… life is in motion, which means that it is never in the same place at the same time.

Think of life as water. This is not an unfamiliar analogy since we need water to sustain life. Even in the Bible it has been said to drink from the “water of life”. If you are thirsty and you come across water, you always check to see if the water is flowing or if the water is stagnant. Stagnant water stays in one place, it is still and collects debris, bacteria, and algae within it, which can make someone very sick, and which makes the water pointless to drink. However, consider a stream or a river. The water in these systems are constantly moving, from a mountain or hill down through miles of terrain, and either connecting to another larger river, or emptying into a sea or ocean. The water is in steady motion as it flows across rocks, fallen trees, and any other obstacles. Powerful currents ebb their way through earth, cutting natural courses into the land that they travel over. Ultimately this water arrives at a destination and becomes one with it, fulfilling its purpose in movement. This is the type of water you drink from. This is also the type of water you rely on for transportation, or to generate power… it is life-giving in a multitude of ways.

In the Scriptures, Psalms 1:3 describes of being like a tree planted by the rivers of water, bearing fruit in due season. This too is where we should plant ourselves. As a river brings fresh water, nourishment, and energy, so should our lives. If we are firmly planted and rooted in soil beside a flowing river, then our seeds can follow along with the stream. So as the water carries our seeds and hopes along so should life’s journey progressively move toward the goals that we want to achieve. It should be able to break down the barriers set before it, it should be able to follow the tried and true paths that it has traveled before, or when they are no longer practical, to then carve out its own course through new terrain. If we do not move, time still passes. We can choose to either go with the flow and grow or to stagnate and evaporate. Our streams of life move toward their destination by the force of striving.

In just a year’s time I can see how my own river of life has progressively moved through the topography of 2010. Just as a river rarely runs a straight course, such is life as well, full of surprises. Yet, around every bend there are new exploits and there are new open ways to reach the goals that we strive for. As many people do, I have goals for my life. Sometimes these goals seem distant and far off, but by faith we can stay in pursuit of them, or at least when we have the strength to realize this. I cannot believe the many good things that have come my way in 2010. I have ensured the stability of my career in education during a time when so many people have concern over their jobs. I have achieved a new level of health and physical fitness that I have not had in years. I have found a new home to buy, and I am in the process of closing and having a new place to live. Finally, I have found a woman who completes me, one that is worthy to be called my Empress, and who I can see a great future ahead for us. These were not expected things, but they were things hoped for. As long as we are progressive in our mentality, each of us can make our way to our goals as we ebb and flow through the daily terrain just to get there. I am still in motion, moving in order to make progress on what has come and to gain new ground until my river runs into the sea. My faith propels me and keeps my river from running dry. If we want it badly enough, and we believe in its purpose then we can cut through the difficulties and doubts that we encounter and make it to where we are destined to be. Each of us can do this if we remember to strive.

We must strive to be alive; we must stay in constant motion. Be active in your life’s journey. Be progressive and continue to flow just as a living stream of water. Bear these things in mind as a new year begins. I wish everyone a Happy and Blessed New Year… and treat each day as a new year and a new time, lush with new opportunities and new courses for your river to run.

Strive & Be Alive,
JAHsh

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving Day is a familiar American holiday, even to those who may not be Americans. Everyone comes together with their family and friends, feasting on food, and sharing each other’s company with time away from work (if you are fortunate enough to do so). I do enjoy Thanksgiving for the opportunity of spending that quality time with loved ones and enjoying the things that we may usually take for granted. Yet I have always thought that by having this particular holiday, we sometimes limit the true scope of how much we should be constantly thankful for, as opposed to just this one time of the year. The truth is that each time we rise up from our sleep in the morning, we should then give thanks for a new day. When we go to sleep in the evening, then we should give thanks for the day that we had. We could easily list all of the hundreds of simple things that happen in between that deserve our thanks. I have the usual things that I give thanks for every day, but this November I am especially blessed in ways that I could not have foreseen even at the beginning of the month. In fact, I am still so amazed that I have a hard time taking it all in and I can barely write about what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it, but I would have to describe it as miraculous.

It is good to humble ourselves and have a thankful heart in all things, but it is only human for us to also want certain particular things fitting for ourselves. People go about expressing those personal desires of ours in different ways, but they dwell within us either way. Though we may have wants, it doesn’t mean that we must be selfish in our pursuit of them. All we need to do is have some faith and ask for it. I have very much to be thankful for today because the petitions of my heart have been answered when I least expected it. Without going into much detail on what that may be, I will say that they are both big changes of special importance in my life... things that I have long hoped for. Strangely enough, when big blessings happen so suddenly it can leave us awestruck, this includes the very good things that come our way... it is out of the ordinary and we often have trouble processing and receiving such things. However, truth and reality do not always fit into conventions. When we understand this concept, we can move forward without anxiety and accept what has been put before us.

It is hard for me to remember a time when I have been happier, and I am confident that life can only become better for me. The cornerstones are being laid down now and helping me to create a solid foundation for the future. I am excited and filled with joy because these changes are such a powerful and positive message coming from The Almighty, an assurance that my faith is not in vain and that good things come to those who wait patiently for them. There is a due season for everything. No one can rush through the winter just to reach spring and summer. Simply put, it comes when the right time comes. For me, the right time has come for these particular occurrences in my life. More proper times will come for my future endeavors. What will happen next? How will these new and amazing blessings develop?... I am so excited to find out. I will also specifically share about them in my future writings when the time is right, but for today I just wanted to share the vibes. So, I am giving thanks! JAH knows that this is a very special Thanksgiving for me!

I will conclude with these simple thoughts. If you have some faith, then the things that you hope for will come your way... somehow, some way, at some time. Also, be prepared to recognize and accept these things when they do finally come. You never know what is in store for you, and you never know how it will actually manifest. Life has its many surprises and you’ll be surprised by how many good things you’ll encounter along the journey if you think positive and keep an open mind. Never give up, and never stop giving thanks for life and its abundance!

Give Thanks Always,
JAHsh